Affirmation
At some point during my freshman year, someone asked about my love language. After listening to a short list of available options, I settled on “words of affirmation”–those blessed compliments or uplifting conversations, however brief, speak to my heart in ways that nothing else can.
I suppose that’s the root of my intense desire not only for belonging but for recognition. I want to stand out. It’s hard to express how desperately I want it, because I want it desperately. I watched Diary of a Wimpy Kid and scoffed at the title character (no, his name isn’t Wimpy Kid, but ya know.)’s antics for months till I realized tonight that we’re basically the same. I can think of exactly two differences (and also countless irrelevant others): 1. He is a 6th-grader (or somewhere in that range). 2. He acted on his impulses.
And his impulses told him to use whatever means necessary to achieve the ultimate in middle-school social status: recognition [in the yearbook] for something.
Ultimately, I can’t say I’m looking for recognition in the Bryan College yearbook, although it’s a quality publication. No, what I’m looking for is the type of recognition that affirms my value as a human being, a thinker, a student, a musician and as a man. Oh, and also as a Christian.
(Sad, really, that I wrote those in the exact order in which they occurred to me. How far have I “backslid”? More on that at some later time.)
Which is to say, I honestly think admiration and affirmation from my peers and professors will be fulfilling.
But of course, it won’t be.
No, it’ll only drive me to improve (my musicianship, writing, whatever) so I can receive further affirmation.
And therein lies the problem. If I’m driven to improve so that I can reach the further high of greater and still greater affirmation, I’ll become an addict. Dang, an affirmation addict. An approval addict.
20-minute posts are hard.
1 minute left.
If I say what I’m really thinking here (apologize for a scattered post, bemoan not being perfect), it’ll come across as a request for further affirmation. Do I really need that? I’ll check my site stats again tomorrow. That probably isn’t the best thing either.
A Heavy Word 
I think we’re all affirmation addicts to some degree…and I think that’s by design too. As humans, we know that we’re not self-sufficient, and so one place we can find that affirmation is through others (funny that we can’t affirm ourselves but we can affirm other people who can’t affirm themselves). Yes, it can go too far and become an idol, but it’s also a very necessary thing.
All that to say, you’re a good guy, Luke. I like you and lots of other people do too…how’s that for affirmation?